Of Dreams and Loss
by dreamland4
Summary: A story set just after episode 12, A converstation between Arthur and Gwen after Morgana goes. I do not own anything. Please review thank you so much.


Set after episode 12.

Gwen had woken up in Morgana's bed with a splitting headache. The last thing she remembered was entering Morgana's room and then she felt herself hit her head and that was it. She got up and looked around the room for Morgana, she then went to Gauis who had told her everything about Morgause and Morgana and she felt sick.

She was gone.

Gwen knew that since Morgana had come across Morgause her friend had changed, no longer afflicted by nightmares, but growing more and more distant. Gwen had suspected that Morgana was Magic, she knew her friend well enough to know that and all the events over the last year had proved that. The sleeping draught helping Alvaarr's escape, finding an piece of clothing in her room when she said she had not seen the druid boy, when Arthur enquired. And her early morning disappearances recently. Over the recent months Gwen had realised that their paths would go in separate directions. She had thought many times she should talk to someone about this, Merlin or Arthur but her loyalty to her friend was unwavering.

She made her way back to Morgana's room and sat on her bed.

When she thought about Morgana, she could not put her finger on it, but deep in her heart she believed that Morgana was OK and that she would see her again. Morgana was like a sister to her and sitting in her room now, she realised that she had no one left, all of her family gone and she did not know how long it would be until she saw Morgana again.

Gwen knew Morgana's hate for Uther was consuming her and it would only be a matter of time before she left. But where did it leave her, she had no reason to stay here.

She would miss Merlin and Gauis of course. She sighed and thought about Arthur, she cared about him so much more than she should and that was another reason for her to go, to leave temptation behind her, she was not living a fairy tale she had to remind herself. But when she thought of him kissing her she felt like she was in a fairy tale, for those few prescious moments she was not just a servant but a princess being kissed by her prince.

Her thoughts were broken when she heard the door close and felt someone sit next to her, she didn't need to turn to tell it was Arthur, she knew because her heart beat faster every time he was near.

"I am sorry Guinevere" he said, she turned to see him looking down.

"What can you possibly be sorry for?" she said genuinely.

"I have let Morgana down, my father and you" he sighed "I could have done more" he said quietly.

"You could not" she took a deep breath. "From what I heard you were lucky enough to be alive".

"I should have protected her" he said his voice breaking.

"Arthur" she said softly using his name alone made him look at her and her heart nearly broke. He was emotionally and physically exhausted and she just wanted to hold him but she could not.

"You must not blame yourself, please do not" she said with emotion matching his.

"We may never see her again" he said lowering his chin.

"We will" she said.

"How could you know that?" he said looking at her.

"Because I have faith Arthur, I can feel it in my heart that she is alright" she said.

"Thank you Guinevere, your faith seems to be the only thing that keeps me going" he said honestly.

A silence passed between them until Arthur broke it.

"You know that your job is safe?" he knew it was stupid thing to say, but it had to be said.

She half smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, but I am not sure I can stay here" she said looking down.

"But why, you say we will see Morgana again, she will need you when she returns" he said desperately.

She took a deep breath. "If she needs me I will return" she said quietly.

She dared to look at him and his eyes were filled with tears. He placed his hand on hers.

"I need you" he said quietly.

"You do not need me" she said honestly.

"Guinevere please" he said. "I need you please dont" he took another deep breath "I cannot even think about you not being here" he said again stroking a curl from her face.

"Maybe it would be best for both of us, to move on" she felt her heart break as she uttered the words.

He stood up and walked away.

"If that is what you want?" he said in a whisper.

She could tell what he was thinking, ever since Lancelot, he believed her heart was elsewhere, but instead it was in pieces on Morgana's floor at the thought of leaving the man she truly loved.

She stood up and placed her hand in his as he was looking out of the window.

"Sometimes what we want we cannot have" she said quietly.

"What do you want?" he asked her, he knew already. Lancelot.

"What I have held in my hand now" she said softly. She felt him hold her hand tighter and take a deep breath.

"Guinevere I want that more than anything" he turned to face her not letting go of her hand, he raised it and kissed it.

"I dream of the future Guinevere" he stroked her face tenderly. "And every dream you are by my side" he said softly.

"Arthur please" she closed her eyes and could see the dream and a single tear dropped from her face.

He wiped it away with his spare hand. "I know I cannot promise you anything now and that you deserve more" he took a deep breath as if giving himself confidence "But I can promise you that a future without you is not one I want to be in" he kissed her head.

"I am asking you to stay Guinevere and to have faith in us, please I cannot make this journey without you".

She looked up at him and he was so close to her. "I will stay" she said in a whisper. Of course she would stay with him, she was foolish to believe she had the strength to leave.

He leaned down to her and placed a tender kiss on her lips. "Thank you" he said.

They heard walking down the corridor and they stepped away from each other.

He sadly smiled at her, he hated that any moment they spent was so fleeting. "Until later" he said and he left.

"Later" she whisperd.

Guinevere closed her eyes and smiled, for once letting herself believe in the fairytale.


End file.
